Image

Faith

I have struggled to grasp the understanding of a creator….

God?
Universal Spirit?
Energy?

In my finite humanness how can my brain possibly comprehend???

But at times I do

I feel it in nature when I am meditating listening to the music of the birds.
I feel it when I am floating in mother natures freshwater arms.
I feel it when I am sitting in God’s hands behind the waves.

I feel it and when I do I feel myself. It makes me want to be good. I believe I am a spiritual being having a human experience therefore to me there has to be a higher power and somewhere to go home to.

I don’t know what it is or what name to call it but I am doing myself an injustice by denying it because of this. I’m guilty of getting all in my head over it making it more confusing than it need be. This is a fruitless parody because I am trying to learn what I can’t completely know. I am getting to know myself and through this experience I am beginning to know a higher power. If I am open and willing all I need to do is stop thinking, feel and have FAITH

photo credit: Brenda.Moe Miss Universe via photopin (license)

Freedom
Image

Soar Like an Eagle

Sometimes (sometimes often) I get so weighed down by my emotions and it is so difficult to sit with it and wait for it to pass as I know all things do. I read a beautiful reading which reminded me I am a human confined to earthly life and emotional disturbances, pain and suffering are all part of this.

If I can remember to turn inward and find calm and if possible have space to sit and meditate I imagine that I am an eagle soaring high above my troubles. Looking down on their earthly constraint I know that I have a choice to learn from the struggles in my path, to rise up and face and to spiritually grow. I remember that I too have moments inn this earthly life where I am at peace and in joy and my emotions are free, soaring high like the eagle.

photo credit: Nanak26 Soaring Humantay via photopin (license)

Image

Hi There

A quick catch up

Hi there.
I have been neglectful of my page of late.
Why?
Hmm…

Time got away between posts and my motivation waned.

I didn’t think anyone was reading.

I forgot why I am writing this blog.

I started this blog for freelance writing purposes. It was required of me to set up a page and start running a blog (at my own cost) in order to have a freelance article published online (Paid less than said cost) I was also required to continue my blog in order to be invited to write for this online publication again. The invite never came and that’s no biggy really. When I set up this page I wondered what I could possibly share that others might wish to read. Then it struck me. My recovery from alcohol dependence is the biggest thing in my life. I know many others struggle from addiction and so off I went. I hoped that somewhere in my words that even just one person may benefit. I also hoped that readers would enjoy my writing. Something amazing began to happen. I thoroughly enjoyed the process and it became very therapeutic for me also.

I can’t identify now where I was at personally when I stopped sharing. I didn’t write for a day or two which slipped into a week, 2, a month etc……

Up popped self, pride and ego –

No one is reading anyway why bother – Silly because I had discovered I was largely doing this for myself and if others read then great. if someone was helped FANTASTIC..

I’ve had feedback and suggestion that I am writing my blog out of ego – No. It became a simple process of enjoying what I was doing. An outlet for my struggles and emotions. A genuine desire that my words may help another.

I had other things to do – Well.. there’s always ‘other’ things to do. Sometimes I forget what is important to me and do other things that provide a quick gratification. I neglect things that have a less noticeable, slow but sustainable result.

I have a tendency to overthink things and I got into my head questioning my motives and wondering if this was a grab for attention. I have recognised that in the past I have been someone who needed attention. I’d tell you otherwise and that I hated both yet I have covered myself in attention grabbing tattoos, was competing in my sports to receive the accolades, I’d never do something small; if I going to enter a run I wouldn’t just do the 10km I’d do the marathon, I entered a 110km overnight paddle race on the Hawkesbury River when I had been paddling just 6 months (I was on a SUP and stacked it at 77km and quit. Ouch for my ego) In rehab I kept the attention on me by loosing 12kg anorexic like while most putt the weight on… Attention attention attention… So i began to wonder if this was another manifestation of that.. You know what it is not. I enjoy this and if others do too that’s great.

I’m back ๐Ÿ™‚

Aaron Clement Musician
Image

A Child of the Universe

I hear the call of the birds and I listen. The screech of the white cockatoo, bellbirds tinkle like drops from a melting snowflake and the whipbird sends his call and snap among the myriad of voices from other birds whose names I have not learned. It is quiet and still this morning and I feel like I am the only human soul on the river. My mind clears of the persistent thoughts that deafen my ears and block my sensory perception.

The world bursts to life around me vivid and sharp, a delight of smells, sounds, feeling and colours. My mind is still and I am one and I am all. I am connected, tapped into the universal energy, nature and myself. My eyes take in every detail. The bleached white bark of the eucalyptus and its dry navy leaves. The spindly royal green nettles of the pine and the beauty of the bowing weeping willow. I breathe in the rugged bushland of Australia and deep gratitude fills my heart for the country that is home. The rocks of different sizes, shapes and varied shades of brown and grey line the water and climb the gorge, spotted with green moss, sapplings and the odd spider web dangling below still glistening with drops of morning dew. Swallows dancing together, dipping and weaving, skimming the water’s glassy surface, bring a playful smile to my lips. The colours look brighter than memory can recall in otherworldly brilliance. The soft morning light wraps gently around me with the gentle kiss of an almost indiscernible breeze. I close my eyes listening to the music of Mother Nature, the joyous song of the birds, cicadas singing in unison announcing the arrival of summer, soft lapping of the water and the deep universal silence beneath. My heart fills with joy and love and I breathe a big sigh of content as I recall a piece of Desiderata;

I am a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars
I have a right to be here
And whether or not it is clear to me, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

photo credit: Chris_Kluepfel MilchstraรŸe_KR_0001 via photopin (license)

Reflection
Image

The Magic of Words

Words are the pearls I string on a thread that form the jewels of my stories.

I love words, they fascinate me. One word is one pearl and a string of pearls a sentence or a story that can portray a multitude of feelings. Words portray emotion, communication, information, beauty and love. Words can warm, words can heal, our words can hurt and wound. Thoughts are words that can lift us up, tear us down, drive us and heal us.

The written word is a document to a time, place and feeling. A memory recorded to be treasured.

My writing is art just like a painting. What joy to begin with nothing, a blank sheet that communicates no feeling and finish with a creation unique and individual that can incite any emotion, laughter, tears, love, confusion, sadness, even hate.

I want to fill my world with pearls of spirit, love and hope and my greatest wish is to string them in a fashion that will move you.

Thank you for sharing xoxo

“Words are the pearls we string on a thread” ANTHONY ROBBINS

photo credit: UnShuttered Soul~ Good to be busy! Bokeh via photopin (license)

Kite for life
Image

Getting back to Water ๐ŸŒŠ

Time for a change of pace here on my blog.

I have an addiction to alcohol and red wine is my poison. I chose the name for my blog as Turning Wine to Water to reflect on my passion for water sports as an integral part of my recovery process. My love of the ocean, surfing, kiteboarding and stand up paddle has been a therapeutic and at times spiritual process. When I am in the water I feel connected. Connected to myself, my inner child, to the universe and I am reminded to be grateful. Grateful just to be alive. What a beautiful journey we are on as spiritual beings, having this human experience to grow and progress our true essence.

I can recall quite clearly a conversation with a girlfriend that took place in my mid 20’s which went something like this:
Me. ‘Do you have a passion?’
Friend. ‘No’
Me. ‘Shouldn’t we have a passion? Shouldn’t everyone have a passion?’
Hmm…

Fast forward 13 years or so and I have been blessed to find passion indeed. It began 11 years ago when an opportunity to learn kitesurfing came my way and from this I have found a passionate love of the ocean, a joy and peacefulness in surfing SUP. On top of this I have discovered a love of writing. God heard my question of so long ago and manifested passion into my life and along with it came the opportunity to travel around Australia, to become involved in the exciting world of competitive kiting and stand up paddle surfing and racing, and to meet many amazing people some of whom have become beautiful, supportive lifelong friends.

Also in this 13 years my alcoholism was progressing to the point of dysfunctional hopelessness (when I drink), but if the only hardship in life I have to endure is the fact that I can not take so much as one alcoholic drink then I think I am pretty damn lucky. What a great big F you to God for endowing me with this fortunate life if I choose to forsake it all for the addiction that wants to see me ruined. When I feel like giving in I must remember to breathe, pray and head to the ocean.

Thank you G. Your will not mine be done.

Chica