He reached out from on high and took hold of me; He pulled me out of deep waters.
2 SAMUEL 21:17 HCSB
My best friend of 30 years sent me a lovely little book while I was away in Cambodia. It’s called ‘Moments of Peace for the mornings’ I flick to a random page each day and the passage gives me cause for reflection throughout the day.
Today’s reading was quite pertinent. I have faith in a higher power but I don’t relate to It as God but the Universal Spirit. I can simply feel that ‘something’ is there directing me, guiding me and keeping me safe. I fail to feel this when I am running on instincts, pushing and pulling trying to assert my will and control. Sometimes when I do this I don’t even realise until I am down deep in a sad and confusing place.
I love using analogy’s of water because it is in or around it that i feel most spiritually connected and at peace. Nothing gives me greater personal security, peace and love than when I am floating being held by the universe, protected and safe. After my release rehab it used to be so important to me to pull myself up in the morning and down to the ocean to swim and float followed by meditation. In my meditation I would sense my inner waters. Sometimes they were as noisy and rough as the ocean, sometimes they were calmer. I would use my time in meditation to wait and receive the energy I needed from the universe to calm my internal waters until they settled still as a morning lake. This routine was vital to me to pull me out of the depression and fear I woke with every day. These days life is much less difficult to navigate but recently I had a little while away from the water (accept the rain there was plenty of ‘that’ water) and the effect on my spiritual and emotional stability was huge!! I plunged into my own well of deep deep water and life of became a persistent become a persistent struggle. I blamed this on the rain because I couldn’t paddle my board on the river, swim, float and immerse myself in the sounds and senses of nature. Nothing was different to what it is accept my ability to perceive and cope. I was drowning.
After a couple of weeks the rain cleared so I grabbed my board and hit the water. As I sat and meditated on a rock in the river Somewhere in the darkness I felt the soft touch of universal light and I felt relief. As I breathed deeply I felt I was breathing new air and like I had been holding my breath for those weeks.
On reflection the lesson I learn out of this is that I can not rely on external circumstances to keep my inner peace. This must come from within and be strengthened by prayer, trust and faith In the universe that everything is as it should be. i always have my internal water I will never go dry.